Once a year, my junior high school decided that going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building surrounded by other people who were also going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building was not making…
Posts tagged art
How to Social Distance Like a Dinosaur
At a very early age, I decided that I wanted to be a paleontologist. My parents were well aware that I was the sort of soft, round Indoor Child who was probably not well-suited to…
How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part One
Like many other strapping, red-blooded Canadian youth, I spent my teenage years participating in the Duke of Edinburgh’s International Award program. This is an award program dedicated to finding and recognizing outstanding young Canadians, so…
How to Convince New Yorkers That You’re One of Them, and Not Just a Lost Tourist from the Suburbs
The summer before I turned 25, I quit my job, packed my things, and moved from Edmonton, Canada, to New York City, a glittering metropolis I’d never been to, and one where I knew absolutely…
A Comprehensive (Though Certainly Not Exhaustive) List of the Terrible Things I’ve Done to my Brothers
I am the oldest of three siblings. After bringing me forth into the world in 1992, my parents failed to realize that they had already reached the Genetic Promised Land by creating the best possible…
How to Cause $3000 in Damages to a Dorm in a Single Night
Buckle up, kids, because we just passed the six-year anniversary of the time I caused more property damage to my university than the cumulative effects of Hurricane Sandy, and I am breaking my silence at…
Oh God, She’s Writing Another Blog
I’m back, fuckers. I am as terrifying as I am strangely proportioned. As some of you may remember, I kept a blog during the last years of my undergraduate degree and the first years of…