Once a year, my junior high school decided that going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building surrounded by other people who were also going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building was not making…
Posts tagged blog
Adventures in Babysitting Terrible Sneaky Monster Children
When I was fourteen years old, I suddenly found myself in need of some extra spending money. I was too young to work at the local Starbucks and too sheltered to build my own international…
A Brief Guide to the Worst Flight I’ve Ever Been On
For most of my adult life, I have lived more than a thousand kilometres away from my parents. This means that if I want to spend any quality time with my family, I need to…
I am the Proud Parent of an Emotionally Compromised Chihuahua
From the moment I moved out of my parents’ house for good at the age of 21, I wanted a dog of my own. I had grown up with an assortment of strange and wonderful…
How to Social Distance Like a Dinosaur
At a very early age, I decided that I wanted to be a paleontologist. My parents were well aware that I was the sort of soft, round Indoor Child who was probably not well-suited to…
A Brief Introduction to my Six-Year Blood Feud With C-3PO
In the spring of 2014, I attended the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo in Calgary, Alberta, partially because I am an enormous nerd, and partially because there is no sunscreen known to man or science…
How to Have a Good Time in Quarantine Even Though Everything is Terrible
Like most people on Planet Earth right now, I am currently in quarantine. According to the CDC and the World Health Organization, I have at least eight more days of sitting on the couch in…
A Field Guide to the Creatures of New York City, Chapter 1: Peanut Butter Girl
On a sunny Saturday in September, my boyfriend and I decided to take the N train from his apartment in Astoria, Queens, to Manhattan, to get some brunch in the city. Because God forbid we…
Tales from the Trenches of Tech Support Hell
The summer between my second and third year of university, I worked in the computer department of a big-box office supply store that happened to sell computers. This is a chain named after a tiny…
How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part Two
When we left off last week, I was standing in a parking lot with a dozen other teens who were exponentially fitter than me, waiting for our teachers to send us racing up a mountainside…