An Introduction to My Family’s Long, Ongoing Failed Experiment With Designer Dogs

When I was eleven years old, my family finally got the one thing that was missing from my Thomas-Kinkade-painting suburban childhood: a purebred Golden Retriever. Depicted here as Air Bud, despite the fact that ours never quite got the hang of basketball. We were naive about dog ownership and we had shitty, unreliable dial-up internet…