Once a year, my junior high school decided that going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building surrounded by other people who were also going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building was not making…
Posts tagged funny
Adventures in Babysitting Terrible Sneaky Monster Children
When I was fourteen years old, I suddenly found myself in need of some extra spending money. I was too young to work at the local Starbucks and too sheltered to build my own international…
I am the Proud Parent of an Emotionally Compromised Chihuahua
From the moment I moved out of my parents’ house for good at the age of 21, I wanted a dog of my own. I had grown up with an assortment of strange and wonderful…
How to Social Distance Like a Dinosaur
At a very early age, I decided that I wanted to be a paleontologist. My parents were well aware that I was the sort of soft, round Indoor Child who was probably not well-suited to…
A Brief Introduction to my Six-Year Blood Feud With C-3PO
In the spring of 2014, I attended the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo in Calgary, Alberta, partially because I am an enormous nerd, and partially because there is no sunscreen known to man or science…
How to Have a Good Time in Quarantine Even Though Everything is Terrible
Like most people on Planet Earth right now, I am currently in quarantine. According to the CDC and the World Health Organization, I have at least eight more days of sitting on the couch in…
Ask a Canadian if “Threatening to Move to Canada” is Right For You
Every time there is a major social or political change in the United States, the Internet floods with panicked Americans announcing that they are going to move to Canada. Many of these people know nothing…
How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part Two
When we left off last week, I was standing in a parking lot with a dozen other teens who were exponentially fitter than me, waiting for our teachers to send us racing up a mountainside…
How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part One
Like many other strapping, red-blooded Canadian youth, I spent my teenage years participating in the Duke of Edinburgh’s International Award program. This is an award program dedicated to finding and recognizing outstanding young Canadians, so…
How to Convince New Yorkers That You’re One of Them, and Not Just a Lost Tourist from the Suburbs
The summer before I turned 25, I quit my job, packed my things, and moved from Edmonton, Canada, to New York City, a glittering metropolis I’d never been to, and one where I knew absolutely…