Once a year, my junior high school decided that going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building surrounded by other people who were also going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building was not making…
Posts tagged memories
Adventures in Babysitting Terrible Sneaky Monster Children
When I was fourteen years old, I suddenly found myself in need of some extra spending money. I was too young to work at the local Starbucks and too sheltered to build my own international…
A Brief Introduction to my Six-Year Blood Feud With C-3PO
In the spring of 2014, I attended the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo in Calgary, Alberta, partially because I am an enormous nerd, and partially because there is no sunscreen known to man or science…
Ask a Canadian if “Threatening to Move to Canada” is Right For You
Every time there is a major social or political change in the United States, the Internet floods with panicked Americans announcing that they are going to move to Canada. Many of these people know nothing…
A Field Guide to the Creatures of New York City, Chapter 1: Peanut Butter Girl
On a sunny Saturday in September, my boyfriend and I decided to take the N train from his apartment in Astoria, Queens, to Manhattan, to get some brunch in the city. Because God forbid we…
Tales from the Trenches of Tech Support Hell
The summer between my second and third year of university, I worked in the computer department of a big-box office supply store that happened to sell computers. This is a chain named after a tiny…
How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part Two
When we left off last week, I was standing in a parking lot with a dozen other teens who were exponentially fitter than me, waiting for our teachers to send us racing up a mountainside…
How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part One
Like many other strapping, red-blooded Canadian youth, I spent my teenage years participating in the Duke of Edinburgh’s International Award program. This is an award program dedicated to finding and recognizing outstanding young Canadians, so…
How to Convince New Yorkers That You’re One of Them, and Not Just a Lost Tourist from the Suburbs
The summer before I turned 25, I quit my job, packed my things, and moved from Edmonton, Canada, to New York City, a glittering metropolis I’d never been to, and one where I knew absolutely…
An Introduction to My Family’s Long, Ongoing Failed Experiment With Designer Dogs
When I was eleven years old, my family finally got the one thing that was missing from my Thomas-Kinkade-painting suburban childhood: a purebred Golden Retriever. Depicted here as Air Bud, despite the fact that ours…