A Comprehensive (Though Certainly Not Exhaustive) List of the Terrible Things I’ve Done to my Brothers

I am the oldest of three siblings. After bringing me forth into the world in 1992, my parents failed to realize that they had already reached the Genetic Promised Land by creating the best possible human that could be recombined out of their collective genes; in a foolish quest to improve on perfection, they went…

How to Cause $3000 in Damages to a Dorm in a Single Night

Buckle up, kids, because we just passed the six-year anniversary of the time I caused more property damage to my university than the cumulative effects of Hurricane Sandy, and I am breaking my silence at last. During the 2012/2013 academic year, I spent some time as a transfer student at Mount Allison University in Sackville,…