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Middle School Shotput Extraordinaire

Once a year, my junior high school decided that going through puberty in a giant cinderblock building surrounded by other…

2 years ago

A Brief Guide to the Worst Flight I’ve Ever Been On

For most of my adult life, I have lived more than a thousand kilometres away from my parents. This means…

4 years ago

I am the Proud Parent of an Emotionally Compromised Chihuahua

From the moment I moved out of my parents' house for good at the age of 21, I wanted a…

5 years ago

Tales from the Trenches of Tech Support Hell

The summer between my second and third year of university, I worked in the computer department of a big-box office…

5 years ago

How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part Two

When we left off last week, I was standing in a parking lot with a dozen other teens who were…

5 years ago

How I Almost Took a High School Field Trip to the Afterlife: Part One

Like many other strapping, red-blooded Canadian youth, I spent my teenage years participating in the Duke of Edinburgh's International Award…

5 years ago

How to Convince New Yorkers That You’re One of Them, and Not Just a Lost Tourist from the Suburbs

The summer before I turned 25, I quit my job, packed my things, and moved from Edmonton, Canada, to New…

5 years ago

An Introduction to My Family’s Long, Ongoing Failed Experiment With Designer Dogs

When I was eleven years old, my family finally got the one thing that was missing from my Thomas-Kinkade-painting suburban…

6 years ago

A Comprehensive (Though Certainly Not Exhaustive) List of the Terrible Things I’ve Done to my Brothers

I am the oldest of three siblings. After bringing me forth into the world in 1992, my parents failed to…

6 years ago

How to Cause $3000 in Damages to a Dorm in a Single Night

Buckle up, kids, because we just passed the six-year anniversary of the time I caused more property damage to my…

6 years ago

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